Name Changes

I decided to change the name of my blog to "What Had Happened Was." This catchy little phrase is uttered by my students when they try to tell me a story. Usually this story is either a) an out-and-out "story" (their word for dirty lies) or b) a story with some basis in the truth and smothered in a healthy heap of exaggeration.

Usually it comes out sounding like this:
"Miiiiisssss, wha' ha' happ'n'd was...."

They tend to lengthen some words and shorten everything else. If I had made THAT the title of my blog, then all two readers of my blog would be wondering what language that was.

This title fits me a bit better. Any number of weird things happens to me and the story is best told with this beginning. It's a clue to the reader that you're going to get a big dose of exaggeration.

And I hope you like the new template. I wanted something different, and at the same time I wanted to pick a color that was easier to read (the purple was my favorite, but I found myself squinting a lot).

Christmas Song Round-Up: Lou Monte

This year I can't say that I've been in the Christmas spirit to the extent of those around me. I bought gifts for my loved ones and dearest friends, but I didn't put my tree up and I don't do Christmas cards. Why no tree? Well, I don't spend Christmas at my house, but at my parents, so I don't even enjoy my tree on Christmas day.  

And then there are the Christmas songs on the radio. Why do they start the day after Thanksgiving? I think what tires me out and keeps me out of the Christmas spirit is the crass commercialism that every holiday has embraced. Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Easter, even MLK Jr Day and President's Day is yet another excuse to have a long weekend. So, when I hear Christmas songs for four weeks, I am driven crazy. If they were good Christmas songs, then I wouldn't mind so much. But no, I am forced to endure things like "Don't they know it's Christmas time at all?" or "Dominic the Christmas Donkey." 

Hee Haw. Hee Haw. 

So, imagine my surprise and lack of delight that Lou Monte had more than one Italian animal hit! There was "Pepino the Italian Mouse", which, according to Wikipedia,  "tells the humorous tale of a mischievous mouse who lives within the walls of a man's kitchen and who comes out at night to eat cheese, drink wine, frighten Lou's girlfriend when she comes over and befriends the cat, sent out to catch him." Then let's not fail to mention "Pasquale, the Italian Pussycat" and "Paulucci, the Italian Parrot." 

But I'm going to move away from that to touch on another aspect of Monte's illustrious animal career and digress momentarily. Recently I heard Stephen Peters talk at my school about how essential it is to know the students we teach. One part of his presentation that hit me was how, in the past fifty years, the way students receive their information has changed radically. Instead of having the home, school, and church being the top three influences on children, this has changed to having Media/TV being the top spot, followed by peers! Wow, this has changed drastically, and not for the better. 

I have witnessed this in my own job. Most of my students' history "knowledge" has come from movies, especially those starring Mel Gibson. For the love! I am so tired about hearing about Braveheart and Patriot, two very historically inaccurate movies. How many times have I heard from Honors students, "So, when Mel Gibson...." They can't differentiate between good entertainment--or even bad entertainment--and reality! 

And so this brings me back to Lou Monte and his songs. Specifically "What Did Washington Say (When He Crossed the Delaware)?".  Again, according to Wikipedia

At one point in the song, "Washington" complains that the pizzas his wife Martha baked were as "cold as ice". His solution? "Sell them to the Indians for only half the price." He then asks his boatsmen to row faster because "tonight I'm posing for my picture on the dollar bill."

What? Sheesh, at least back when Monte wrote the song kids knew better than to believe it, but now I have to climb uphill to convince students that Martha Washington did not cook pizzas. My saving grace? Luckily my students have not heard of Lou Monte. 

It Really Is a Small World....

When I was three, my parents took my to Disney World. I may have been two, but how would I know? Any memories I have are either a)nebulous or b) entirely made up. There are pictures. Anyway, like any good tot, my favorite ride was It's a Small World. So much, in fact, that the guy running the ride told my parents not to get off the boat. That's not likely to happen today, given the long lines and crush of baby strollers.

But it really is a small world. I also learned that I CANNOT LEAVE TOWN WITHOUT THE INTERNET. Or at least find free internet. I went to a conference on Monday and in two days, a rug has been pulled out from under my feet. And had the hotel I was staying at had wi-fi access that was free like most hotels AND McDonald's, I wouldn't have been shocked in between checking out the Carolina Hurricane's schedule and researching Taba questioning for my high school classroom.

So, I am at the Carolina Hurricanes website and the first thing you see is this rotating headline complete with pictures. I see something that says Paul Maurice is the new head coach? What? No, that must be old news. Really. So, I advance through the headlines and....

Paul Maurice is the new head coach.

O. M. E. G. Oh my effing gosh. (My students could find this, and I have to put forth a good example. Ha ha. Be quiet.) Why such a big deal? Well, the coach he's replacing replaced him a few years ago. Hence the "It's a Small World" reference.

Am I upset? Eh. Not really. I want my team to win. I know that winning isn't everything, but sometimes it just is. I want my boys to go to the playoffs again. I want them to go far into the playoffs. We haven't done that for two years after winning the Cup, and November was a crappy month for us.

So, good luck Coach Maurice. At least Obama has a harder climb ahead of him than you do.

My Rap Album

My seventh block is talented. They can freestyle on just about any topic that I throw at them. So, I came up with this brilliant idea: we can make a rap album. 

For each unit, I give them guidelines on what questions their rap has to answer according to South Carolina State Standards (because it always comes back around to the standards--I actually like having standards, but that's another story entirely). Then I'm going to record them and at the end of the year--

We'll have an album. 

They loved the idea. I have a feeling they won't disappoint. :) 

lolcat Fun

more cat pictures

Confession Time:  I have never seen Office Space. 

I know that I should, because I have a feeling that I would totally get it. I don't work in an office atmosphere, but I do work at a high school, which means my things go missing all the time. Pens, pencils, pencil sharpeners, jackets, staplers, erasers, dry erase markers, test keys, discs... If it's in my classroom, it has probably been stolen at one time or another. 

Combine Office Space with lolcats and the above picture is the result. I died of laugher. 

You? 

End of the Year

There's three weeks left to the school year, and there's a little secret I'm going to let everyone in on: Teachers count down and look forward to the end of the year as much as students. If not more so. 

This year has been a tough one for me. It's Year Five, which is that mythical year that makes you or breaks you. I scoffed at this, thinking that I was beyond that. 

I was not. There were points where I was willing to walk out and never return. Points where I was willing to quit the profession and move back in with my parents. But I got beyond that and have signed up for a Year Six. 

All it takes is one student saying a kind word. Saying how much they appreciate the job I'm doing, or even just saying that I'm cool. 

And so I've embraced the insanity.